"May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand."

In the last seven years that would be the upmteenth time he read this galeic prayer.

It was also the umpteenth time in seven years he wiped his moist eyes.

Perhaps someday, someplace nice, they would meet again.

Until then he'd have to live with fond memories of a dad who walked into the sunset.

"She is such a b***h", he said. Now, Arun was not someone given to using foul language, but he did, on this occassion. I'd been in the same situation once and knew he must hurt. As I sipped on my Blue Granita in a comfy coffee shop, I looked at Arun and thought "It will be ok...the first time always hurts the most".

She was also an aquaintance of mine.5 Feet 5, unimaginably fair,brown hair,deep brown eyes and always well dressed, with matching footware and ear rings to boot.She was what a guy would call a "good catch". Arun though was not a "player". He did not believe in playing the field, going out with a million girls at the same time. He believed in a utopian concept called "love".

She did not share his beliefs though.

Here he was, telling me, how "his girl" used to go out with other guys, frequent pubs, had atleast two relationships going at the time and was still in touch (romantically) with her very first boyfriend.With all of this happening she'd tell him how much she loved him.....It did not take too much of an effort to see the pain in his eyes. He'd stumbled upon her other "friends" and had called the relationship of over a year off.

"Never fall for a good looking girl.Thay have way too many options, they are human, and they definately give all options a shot". I must admit i agreed with him, although I never was in the same position, I did come pretty close to his state of affairs.

"Sometimes..", he said,"..it's better to find an ordinary looking girl, who will give you all her love and respect you for what you are, not what you have in the bank or what's in your pants".

I concurred.

"It's also strange that the people we want dont want us and the people we dont want, love us", she continued. That second line made so much sense. Anil had to decide on this girl. He was not being fair to her nor himself.

She was a wonderful person. She told him she loved him.....and yet he was scared.

It's not easy to accept happiness especially when you've been let down a million times before. It's not easy to let someone into your life, give them the right to hurt you, and hope they wont.

Anil listened to her not knowing whether this happiness would come back to hurt him...Hurt him all over again.

Anil was one of those sombre people who had had more than his fair share of "alone time". Sid and Anil went a long way back...to a time when both studied together. They would meet regularly and discuss plans... plans for the future, goals, ambitions,love,life ..the works.

One such meeting ended in a rather bizzare proposal. Sid had decided that Anil could do with a girl in his life and so had decided to "fix" Anil with a girl he knew.

"You have to trust me on this one. I know she'll be perfect for you!", Sid had said.That Sid was a managger in his company and that he had an extremely persuvasive nature did not help Anil's cause. So Anil decided..."one time.. i'll say 'no' and that should be it...naa rahega bhas naa bajegi basuri!! "

A week later the two friends sat at a coffee shop waiting to meet a girl who was equally relutant to get into such an "arrangement".

Ten minutes later she emerged. Dressed in a white and red top. She seemed a reasonable girl. Half an hour of idle chit chat and Sid muttered he was leaving. Anil cursed silently but politely shook Sid's hand and smiled.

At the end of those two hours, as a thoughtful Anil left the place he knew too well that he would take this slow. That each time it hurt he'd learnt a lession and yet...strangely, he seemed hopeful....He took a long walk back home as he hummed:

"I know a greater power must have noticed me,
And decided I would meet someone like you.
No-one on this planet thought we could ever be,
Till He gave my heart to you, and yours to me"

Siddharth was the only son to his parents. His father , an IIT alumni and his mum a homemaker.Needless to say his dad was driving him to do that much more professionally and he was not happy with his job. His mother would blow up at the slightest hint of her only "child" going through any kind of stress. So Sid would hardly confide in anyone at home. He was a private person and so his colleagues were certainly off bounds for such talk.

He was a friend of almost eleven years and I had never known Sid to get emotional in all those years. So as I sat listening to Sid, I thought maybe I could be of some help.

Three days later: "Sorry bro I knew few really nice girls and all of them are either hooked or booked", she said with a pathetic look on her face. She then continued "Come to think of it I think you can do with some 'company' too. What say?" I vaguely said "hmmm...." and changed the topic.I was not about to go down that lane and get ribbed all over again. That devilish sister of mine never missed an opportunity to pull my legs!!

Amidst all that my bubbly sister had to say... it certainly did dawn on me. A group of young men were so focussed on doing things and going places professionally that now any "company" that was around was either "hooked or booked"!

Some wise man did say (and i do not know in what context)

"Water, water everywhere,
Yet, not a drop to drink!"

That quote did make sense, in a twisted way, today.

Yet why do I choose the road less taken?
Why do i subject myself to steep learning curves that stress me out?
Why do I take on so much responsibility when all I want to do is lie back and rest a while?
Why cant I reconcile my personal and professional goals?
Why cant I just compromise and let things be the way they are?

I guess somewhere down the line my restless soul has prompted me to do more,to try different things.... To make the change.

Amidst all this I hum the tune..

"It's not time to make a change,
Just relax and take it slowly,
Your still young,
That's your fault,
There's so much you have to know...."

.. I guess some day i'd have all the answers.

the mood for some stock taking.A cup of hot home made coffee always helps the cause.

This was 10 months ago.

A lot of things were not falling into place and I had decided to make things happen. I was NOT going to sit around

and wait for "fate" or "luck" to smile on me.

I went ahead, made a plan and executed the same. The plan was meticulous, the timing, perfect and the intent was unwavering.

Ten months later, I see that the plan went through.... but was I enjoying myself??

I guess not.

It sometimes is better to balance pushing for things to happen with letting HIM decide what should happen as well.